5 Word Phrase!

I love you Nanay Tatay! Yes, Kimi said that. He is starting to build phrases and sentences on his own whether Filipino, English or combined Filipino and English. I realised the big improvement after seeing again his videos taken in November 2009 when we were setting up the Christmas tree and train. He was just mumbling then when trying to communicate. He had a few clear words but most of the time he could not find the right words to say or how to say it properly. Right now, there are still some unclear words which will improve as we talk to him more. Note, not baby talk. Real talk about what he observes, what he did, what he feels, and what he wants to do.

There are times that I really get surprised with his statements that keep me speechless. The incident a couple of weeks is a classic example. We were already late for his day care. I was rushing and asking him to cooperate so I can put on his shoes. He obliged. After asking him to stand up and head to the car, he exclaimed out of the blue, "Good job Nanay!" I laughed so hard. I'm supposed to be saying that. Oh well, I can't complain.

First Flight

After 4 months of staying and living in Geelong, Kimi would visit Sydney to take part in celebrating Enzo’s 1st birthday. Enzo is hubby’s first cousin and, in fact, Kimi’s uncle. Yes, blood relations can be confusing at times.

I booked our flight early and chose the early flights as usual to maximise our stay. I was excited for Kimi. I know he would be delighted to see a big version of Jayjay the jet plane. However, I saw too many crying babies that the thought of Kimi having difficulty with air pressure also worried me. I shoved the thought away and packed our bags early than usual as this is the first flight I’ll be travelling with a toddler in tow. I packed Kimi’s stuff in my carry on bag to make sure that I got everything he would need – including banana, apple, nuts, raisins, biscuits, and milk to make him eat and chew and release the pressure on his ears and books to pre-occupy him during the waiting time and the 1.5 hour-flight.

On the day, I woke him a little before 4 am just enough time to dress up before the Avalon airport shuttle picked us up. Good enough he woke up in a good mood. He rarely wakes up in a bad mood anyway so it was not really a problem. He stayed awake during the entire wait for boarding, amusing other passengers beside us especially the elder couple a few seats away.

As expected, he was ecstatic to see the Jetstar plane. He was repetitively saying “Jayjay” and “airplane” until we reached our seat. After all the passengers were seated, Kimi started to wind down. Tatay (dad) was preparing the nuts when Kimi positioned himself comfortably on my lap hugging me to sleep. In no less than 2 minutes, he was already in wonderland and woke up 20 minutes before touch down. Upon waking up, he looked at the window and pointed to the beach below saying "water" and "beach" alternately, non-stop, until he got the attention of the passenger next to us. He also marvelled at some of the clouds and mountains. How wonderful it was to see a curious and excited toddler -- both eyes beaming.

Overall, it was a hassle free flight apart from the difficulty of carrying Kimi and some luggages. Kimi was a cooperative travel companion. I guess he sensed it’s not the best place and time to throw a tantrum.

Word Spurt

I was really worried with Kimi's speech development when he was 18 months old. He can only say 3 clear words then - Nanay, Tatay, and dede (milk). I even had him checked by his GP so we can get a referral to have a hearing test or to see a paediatrician if needed. She assured me that he is okay and didn't seem to have any hearing problem. But since I insisted, she sent a request for a hearing test appointment at the audiology department of the public hospital.

I made some research and found out that babies who are exposed to more than 1 language tend to speak a bit late. But it was still advised that best time to teach a kid another language is through exposure to the language since they are born. We continued with what we do to improve his language acquisition. We spoke to him slowly and emphasised the letter sounds and the words. We read to him his books especially the shape book which is his favourite at that time. We put him in family day care once a week since he was 20 months for social interaction. We still speak to him at home in 2 languages: Filipino (primarily) and English (as translation). His family day carer speaks to him in English together with the other kids in care.

And, at 21 months, his words increased dramatically that I got lost in counting the number of words he could speak both in Filipino and in English.

NB: This was long overdue.

Fishy, fishy

During nappy change, I give Kimi a little book to pre-occupy him and minimise his wiggly movements. I also talk to him, asking questions, telling stories, to pre-occupy him even more. I used to sing nursery rhymes but it no longer works to keep him still. If I don’t pre-occupy him with other things, nappy change can be very difficult and messy especially if there’s poo involved – imagine him reaching his bottom, getting his soiled nappy, and walking on top of the bed as quickly as he could.

The past few days I’ve been using the same book, “My Very First Book of Words” by Eric Carle, which I’ve read it to him a few times with matching actions and associations a few weeks ago. I focused on the sun and the star as I can easily act them out and describe while I change the nappy. After 3-4 of days of looking at the sun and star, he probably got bored and flipped the pages. He suddenly put down the book, joined his hands together and wiggled it while saying “fishy, fishy.” I was surprised, stopped what I was doing with the nappy and looked at the book. Yes, he saw the illustration of the fish and he remembered what I acted out a few weeks back. I called on his Tatay to see it himself. We were both excited.

One realisation: kids are really like a sponge. They may not show or manifest that they’ve picked up what you said or did straightaway. But, it is surely there to be seen later. The more you stimulate them, the better.

Handling Nerves After Child Birth

All my life I believed I am good at handling my nervousness until I did my driving exam recently at the age of 30. (Yes, I was late to realise that I need to drive as it was not necessary for me before migrating to Australia as I could easily catch a public transport anytime of the day in Manila.) However, the loudness of my heartbeat during the test feels defeaning. My blood is pumping so fast. I can't control it as good and smooth as I controlled my nerves during exams, oral presentations, and job interviews in my life before being a mother. I tried singing softly to myself to control it but it did not work as I expected. The

After 3 attempts at it with silly mistakes I have never done while I do regular driving practice, I am thinking giving birth might have an effect on how I handle my nerves now like how child birth affected my memory -- I have no scientific basis for this though just a gut feel. Having realised this, I have to take double efforts to conquer my nerves and put my memory and reaction back to what they were before.

But, in the meantime, I will not stop until I get that licence as I know I can safely drive without the nerves. It's good learning from my instructor the other day that I can actually talk during the exam as long as I don't engage him and the testing officer in a regular conversation. Hopefully talking works next time. We'll see.

How about you? How do you cope with nerves? I might learn a few things from you.

My Men are Taking over

Straight from work on Thursday night, I took a Jetstar flight from Avalon to Sydney. Not for my regular visit but for packing my son and hubby’s stuff and bringing them home in Geelong. The entire flight was really bumpy, with my stomach turning upside down a few times. It did not in any way, however, change my enthusiasm and excitement for the upcoming weekend. Wondering why? -- because Kimi and hubby would now be staying with me.

Yes, they moved back to Geelong over the weekend. We all drove down to Geelong early Saturday. In contrast with my flight to Sydney, the 8 plus hours land trip was "smooth sailing," something we hoped and prayed for. However, driving an old but well maintained car with a 16 month toddler, who can be fussy at times, would really make you a bit anxious during the trip. It was good, though, that Kimi cooperated. He slept most of the trip. He ate, played and sang with me when he was awake. He screamed a few times but they did not last long. Overall, I can still say he is my happy baby.

Upon arriving at home, I thought the battle started. Kimi did not want to go out of the car. He was observing and looking around. He knew it’s not his nonna’s house. With a bit of a struggle, I was still able to get him out of his car seat and put him inside the house. He did not want to touch anything, he was still observing. I let him sit in his new toddler chair and table. There was resistance for a few minutes. I left him inside the house with hubby’s uncle to help hubby get their things in the car. Lo and behold, when I came back Kimi was already walking around the house, following me whenever I put bags in our room, the kitchen, and the laundry. He was already inspecting his new abode. And in less than an hour, he was already so comfortable that he wanted to take control of the TV/DVD remote and press the desktop computer’s keyboard.

Kimi’s first night was not as bad as I had imagined it would be. He wanted to be put to sleep by his Tatay. He was tossing and turning when the clock hit 4am. But there was no big drama, no long loud crying at all.

So far the first four days of Kimi in Geelong went well. A lot of it attributed to hubby’s good care. He is keeping Kimi well adjusted first before he hits the road and look for work in Geelong and Melbourne. Whenever, I’m home they are maximising my presence. Hubby is taking over the desktop computer and Kimi is following me everywhere from the kitchen to the bedroom and even to the door of the toilet. They are now both running my life and I like it, especially their big hug and kisses, and the dancing, and the singing, and the laughter and the meals together.

Now, I can say we are truly a family.

He's Coming Back

Looking after a newborn baby as a new migrant could be tough especially for working parents as you have no familiar support systems easily accessible. Child rearing is a different approach compared to what I have seen and experienced with my niece and nephew. In the Philippines, a middle income family can afford to hire a nanny to help with looking after the kids. Down under, a nanny is not affordable. There are family carers and child care centres, though. However, putting our son in child care at a very young age was not an option for us. So, we accepted my mother-in-law's offer, who is living in Sydney, to look after our son. It is an hour and a half plane ride from Geelong. We battled being away from our son and the monthly visit in return for a family member's care. It may not be the ideal set-up but we believe it is better for our son. Don't get me wrong though. Child care centres may still be a good place to start if you research and check them well enough.

The good news is my little angel is finally going back to Geelong in July instead of me heading to Sydney when I get my permanent residency. Times are tough especially with the longer than usual financial slump. We decided that it would not be a smart move to let go a stable and secure job and risk looking for work in Sydney where competition is much higher with a lot of qualified workers getting unemployed to recession. Apart from that, we will be able to strengthen our ties as a young family and truly depend on each other to reach our family goals if we only have each other.

In preparation, I made a list of a few things that we need to do:

• Hire a carpet steam cleaner
• Keep the stack of books in an area that he can’t reach
• Childproof the cupboards, drawers, tables, and power points (outlets)
• Re-arrange the shed to provide space for his bike and art and crafts area
• Look for child care or family carer
• Arrange for his things to be sent back to Geelong
• Do a general cleaning before the carpet cleaning
• Draft a new schedule and routine for him
• Book a flight to pick him up

I am already excited. I have a long list that I want to do with my son and husband. It may be a hit and miss but what matters is we are together sharing the journey ahead. I will definitely post our experiences as we go along.

Am I Pregnant?

In a span of 1 month, two migrant friends asked me what I did when I first found out that I was pregnant. They were asking about whether I went to a private OB or a public OB, how much were the fees, etc. They are new mothers-to-be and have also been in Australia for around two years now. I gladly responded to their queries, reminiscing how I went about the entire experience. I thought I better share it here and be of help to other new migrant mums out there. When I missed my monthly period, I did not bother checking a pregnancy kit. I initially thought my body was just adjusting to the cold weather and I was just stressed over the job hunt and it would soon come once I started with my new job in a week. In addition, I don’t feel anything different. No morning sickness and craving that they were talking about. Three weeks after missing my period and enjoying my new work, husband prompted me to consult with the doctor. Doctor Hunt Not aware of the Australian processes, I got a phone directory, looked for an obstetrician and rang a private OB clinic. To my surprise, I was informed to go to my General Practitioner (GP) for a referral. As I did not have a GP yet, I insisted that I already knew that I needed to see an obstetrician. But, still the receptionist pointed out that it is the policy – I need a referral letter. Few days later, I again consulted the phone directory to look for a GP. I was still in the dark of the Australian health system so I called each clinic near town to look for a GP. About three medical clinics no longer accept new patients on a regular basis. That was a big shock. I wondered how come these things happen in a developed country such as Australia. I tried my luck again and rang Geelong Women’s Clinic, a private clinic just a few blocks from work. The receptionist were nice enough to squeeze me in one of the doctor’s schedule as they have a policy for new patients to book at least 1.5 months in advance. I told them my case and they booked me for an earlier schedule. But, still I had to wait for 3 long weeks. While waiting, I had a healthy diet of fruits and vegetables especially cauliflower and broccoli. I did not have any alcohol and coffee in my system. Had lots of milk (breakfast, dinner and sometimes lunch) and 3-4 litres of water as I had difficulty with having a pee. It felt like I was having a urinary tract infection, which according to my readings is easily contracted by pregnant women during the first trimester. Having lots of water took away the pain of peeing. Otherwise, I would have needed medication to remove the infection. But, this should be consulted with the GP. GP Consultation My doctor’s appointment came and I explained to her my case. The first thing she asked me was if I already tried checking the pregnancy kit, which I did not do. So, she asked me to do the test in the clinic and it was confirmed! There was neither physical check nor blood test. She discussed with me whether I would like to be referred to a private OB or to the public hospital’s ante-natal clinic. I told her that I am a new migrant and a paying patient and my medical insurance will not reimburse any obstetrics-related claims yet as there is a 12 month waiting period. To help me decide, she then asked her assistants to call the clinics and hospitals and check the prices for me – consultation, hospital bed, delivery fees of both public and private OB. The doctor gave me scripts requesting for blood test done at Pathology Care to check haemoglobin level, blood group, German measles immunity and Rhesus factor and the ultrasound to check the baby’s measurement, due date, heartbeat, placenta, and baby’s condition at Lake Imaging during the following weeks. I was not given any antibiotics for my pee problem as the water therapy worked well but was advised to take any pregnancy vitamins available at the chemist. After about 10-15 minutes of discussion and consultation, the clinic charged me $60. The First Tests Upon arrival at work, I rang both Path Care and Lake Imaging to arrange an appointment. With Path Care, I was informed I could just pop in as they are serving on a first come, first serve basis. But, with Lake Imaging, I needed to wait for 3 weeks for an available slot and should come with full bladder, which means I had to drink 500-1000ml two hours before the schedule and hold it. It was difficult since I cannot control my pee starting week 10. It felt like the baby was pushing it. In fact, I was not able to hold it for the ultrasound appointment and we needed to re-schedule it, which was already on my 15th week. By then, the technician was able to see that I might be having a boy and it can be confirmed on my week 20-21 ultrasound. Going Public or Private All the results were forwarded to my GP and everything were going okay. The GP gave me the price comparison of public and private hospital. Basing on the hospital bed fees ($700 per day) and consultation fees ($70 per visit), I initially decided to see a private OB. However, upon learning from the private OB’s receptionist that the doctor charges $3000 for normal delivery and may be more if there’ll be complications, the practical side of me thought twice as that would be a substantial out of pocket cost. I rang my GP’s assistant and requested for a new referral to the public hospital’s ante-natal clinic, which would charge $1000 for the delivery fee even if I would have a C-section – the sure $2000 difference could already buy a lot of baby stuff. My GP’s clinic faxed the referral letter straight to the ante-natal clinic of the public hospital and I booked my first appointment after a few days. Ante-Natal Clinic I waited for 3 weeks for my appointment with the midwife at the ante-natal clinic. She explained to us my options of care and suggested that since I had no complications so far, I can have a combined care of the midwives and the hospital’s OB. We readily said yes as the midwives seemed so competent, loving and caring. A student nurse was also introduced to us and asked if she could monitor and accompany me throughout my pregnancy. Because of my love for learning, I said yes and accommodated her. It was a plus factor since she was there during doctor’s visit when my husband could not come. In essence The first 20 weeks of my pregnancy was an emotional rollercoaster ride. I just migrated and we just got married. There was joy, excitement, doubt, fear and frustration (over the medical process). But, overall we maintained optimism on what the future would bring for our bundle of joy and our starting family. I was sure the angels and the stars conspired when we had Kimi.

A Good Way to Meet other Moms

I was looking for a music school for Kimi about 2 weeks ago when I came across Kidspot. It is a website offering mothers different articles on being a mother, a wife, and a woman. It has loads of information from pregnancy to the different stages of baby development - toddler, preschool, and school age. There are also several tools that you can utilise such as pregnancy journal, ovulation calculator, due date calculator, kid's activity finder, baby name finder, etc. And, of course the feature that attracted me most making me go back and regularly visit the site is the Kidspot Social. It gives me a chance to communicate with other mothers who share the same passion and think of what is good for their babies.

The groups inKidspot Social gives me the space to share and learn more about the culture and ways of life in Australia. It offers me an idea how other mothers are coping with child rearing and what activities keep them preoccupied when they give up their full-time job to look after their kids. It also gives me a chance to gain new acquaintances whom I can share my thoughts and hopefully develop into good friendships.

If you are a mom like myself, you might like the site too! See you there and let's explore!

Give me that leave!

At the moment, the Australian government is providing a maternity allowance or the more popularly known "Baby Bonus." It was intended to help the family for the baby's initial needs like clothes, blankets, cot, feeding bottles, milk, etc. Babies born on or after 1 July 2008 receive AU$5,000, which is regularly adjusted for inflation rate.

When Kimi was born 7 months ago, we applied to receive this assistance. The form was enclosed in a kit given by the hospital together with the birth registration application forms, and immunisation information. The application form is a bit lengthy as you need to establish a Centrelink/Family Assistance case account/number. It required visa and passport details, income details, bank details, spouse details, and of course the baby's details and the proof of the child's birth registration. So, we submitted the birth registration form of Kimi prior to applying the "baby bonus." At that time, we got roughly AU$4,100. We put it in Kimi's bank account, reserving for his future needs espcecially for his education. It was a good incentive and a good assistance to starting families especially to new migrants.

However, there is still lacking. There is no paid maternity leave yet put in place. For a developed country, it is quite surprising since even less developed countries have at least 30 days of paid maternity leave. Philippines has 60 days paid maternity leave; Indonesia has 3 months; Bangladesh has 12 weeks; and the list goes on. I reckon it is time for Australia to make the big leap of mandating paid maternity leave, which at the moment is only offered by bigger companies as benefits to their employees. This big move will encourage more women to have kids and will create a more nurturing environment for babies and families.

So, please give mothers and soon-to-be-mums that 18 weeks of paid maternity leave!

Lucky Girl

It's been a little over a year since I came to Australia. A year full of blessings and surprises that I have so many things to be thankful for. I made a list of the top 10, although, I know that there are more.

1. I have a gorgeous, healthy baby boy born in February. He is 5 months now, growing well everyday. I can't wait to see him again when I visit him in his grandmother's place in Sydney. Why he is there is another story. But, I'm happy that he is well taken care of by his nonna instead of us bringing him everyday in a childcare centre.
2. Got myself a cute, sweet, and loving husband who despite of the difficulty of moving to Geelong still opt to stay with me. We've also been thinking that he should move back to Sydney to be with our son while I fulfill my visa conditions until late 2009 or early 2010.
3. I have a supportive family-in-law especially a great mother-in-law. She stayed 3 months in Geelong when we had our baby.
4. I got nice and friendly colleagues in my first job at Chartwell. They are very supportive to me from being a new migrant to getting married to being a new mom. I will always keep in touch.
5. I was "adopted" by generous and helpful Filipino-Australian families in Geelong. They welcomed me with open arms eventhough they just knew me through the phone and the internet.
6. My husband and I are renting a cosy place and we are slowly filling it up with the necessary appliances and furniture - new and seconds from friends and St. Vincent de Paul. We have covered the basics and I am happy with that.
7. After the closure of the first company I have worked with, I managed to get a temporary job in 2-3 weeks and a permanent job in 5 weeks. It is a new industry to me but the work is still related to my qualifications and I love it!
8. My small and big families are happy and in good health. We managed to enjoy short trips, picnics, orange picking, and dining out without busting our budget. I am already thrilled for our future trips when we get our driving license soon.
9. I am coping well with the new environment, new culture, new life, and new responsibilities as a new migrant, new wife, and new mom. I am learning to cook and clean, things I did not do much before I migrated. Aside from the burnt brownies I did a month ago, I can say Im doing well overall. :D
10. I gained new friends whom I would like to know more and hang out with. It would be good if we can see them more often.

People say I'm a lucky girl and I'm thankful for that. Thus, I am paying it forward to other migrants in my own little ways.